Success ?

                                     

What prompt me to write an article about success? It's been playing in my mind for a long time what's the definition of success? How to achieve success? What does success feels? Does it matters at all?

                                      

It's very obvious that success can be:

1. Rewarding
2. Self satisfaction
3. Reality check
4. Feel appreciated
5. Motivated to do more and achieve higher results

Success here does not have to be great. It could be as simple as getting a compliment from a colleague for a job well done, helping an old lady to cross the stress, do charity etc. Why I say these are successes? Success is a resultant of what one did well right? In normal circumstances, it could mean success in academic, career, politics, sports.....and most important life. I believe success in life is intangible in nature and cannot be measure by a yardsticks. It could mean everyone has its own way of measuring success and value what success means to them.

In my opinion, success could mean be able to stand up and go to work everyday. It could mean I am able to drive and eat healthily. It could mean I live in a peaceful country. What I want to say here is, we should threat every small things as an accomplishments and appreciate what we have. As human moves from one stage of life to another, we tend to forget what we have achieve and we always go for the higher goals.

In life, it can be struggle for human to achieve success if he or she is too focus on certain things whereby small things tend to be ignored and not appreciated.

SUCCESS = CONTENTMENT + APPRECIATION + COMPASSIONATE + REALITY CHECK + PRINCIPLED

Agree? Everyone has its own formula of success. For me, I need 3 things:

1. Discipline
2. Focus
3. Time and people conscious

 Well....What I have achieve in 2012 that I can say it's a success...? Many little things ....and yes I am appreciative of what I have....I wish for more "success" in my own definition for the years to come....

First Full Marathon

Finally I finished my first full marathon. What an achievement! Happy to manage to complete the entire course of 42.195km. This challenge by itself is a feat. At the same time, felt a sense of relief. It was painful experience to endure. Thank goodness, the run is over.
Towards the first 4km, I felt good, no pain and enjoying myself. From the moment going up the Penang bridge, my leg felt lethargic. Towards the middle span of the bridge, I can start to feel my leg started to sore. I should not feel this way since this is not even the half way mark. I told myself to stay calm and continue to run and do a half step at a time rather than full step. At the end of the bridge, I just walked my way around the U-turn. I took a short break and have a bun. After that I continued my journey. I reached my half way mark at a very slow pace (3:17 hour). For a normal half marathon, I should be able to complete in 2:30 hour. What happen?
No excuse, it's just lack of training and I was not feeling so well the night before.
From the half way mark to the 33km mark, it felt like forever....the.....
Anyway, towards the 30km mark, the organizer provided power gel and banana...they helped to replenish my energy. From the 33km mark back to the finishing line, it was like never ending. Anyway, I had the motivation to run (perhaps after seeing my friend in front and I try to catch up with him)....and also I tried to beat the 7 hours qualifying time...
The last 5km was liked....is it end yet? 4km....are you sure?...2.5km...huh? 1.5km....ok fine......500m...wat lao?....finally at the last 200m, my friend and I sprinted towards the finishing line...I felt a sense of relief and just felt like wanted to take a long long rest....
Along the course, I wasn't thinking much. My thought is mainly to finish my run and started to worry about the after effect....
Anyway this is a good achievement for me and I am very proud! I told myself not to do again, but my instinct tell me that I will do it again and I will have to train harder next round....
Woo hooo....what's next? After full marathon...I am very tempted to try biathlon or triathlon...

To sustain a healthy relationship with my dear.

In my new year resolution, I did mentioned that I want to sustain a healthy relationship with my dear. So, I asked myself how is the relationship going and am I doing enough to build a good relationship. Yes, dear mentioned that I don't say "I love you" as often compare to the past. Yes, there is some arguments. In my opinion, a relationship is always prone to argument. It's how well both parties sort it out amicably and end of the day these are sorts of pointers that strengthen a relationship.

Constructive feedback is good. Consultative discussion is good. Analytical thoughts and sharing is good. Decision maker is good. Indecisiveness could create stress. Flexibility is a virtue... I am listing the different behavioural and styles. From this, it could mean different pattern of human when facing with similar situation.

An ANALYTICAL person like me might take longer time to analyse and is data driven. This means indecisiveness. It could also mean more careful when facing with situations. Also I have the NEUTRAL type of character whereby I am a  good listener, patience and like to live in harmony.

Where as my dear is also ANALYTICAL and data driven. Basically, this means always cautious, be able to work alone and like to be precise. I felt that she also has a bit of DECISIVE traits.

By understanding this behavioural model, we can work out ways to understand each other and using different approaches when face with certain situation.

For example, an analytical person is always cautious and not willing to take risk. Well, perhaps we can change abit by accepting some calculated risk and accepting the fact that not all is perfect.

Well, I need to refer to the notes that kind of explain this Leonard Personality Inventory.

Let me explore more on this and what is important is I am willing to step to other people shoes and understand the situation. Equally important is effective communication. Also, not too sensitive on certain things. I just don't understand why I am so agitated sometimes. Maybe my subconscious mind is too negative that don't accept criticism.

I hope this will help me to build a healthy and sustainable relation with my dear. Off course this takes time and Rome is not build overnight.

Déjà vu

The term déjà vu is French and means, literally, "already seen." Those who have experienced the feeling describe it as an overwhelming sense of familiarity with something that shouldn't be familiar at all. Say, for example, you are traveling to England for the first time. You are touring a cathedral, and suddenly it seems as if you have been in that very spot before. Or maybe you are having dinner with a group of friends, discussing some current political topic, and you have the feeling that you've already experienced this very thing -- same friends, same dinner, same topic. (*source from http://science.howstuffworks.com/science-vs-myth/extrasensory-perceptions/question657.htm)

This is a word where is quite spooky and eerie to begin with. I heard this word before but only now that I understand the true meaning of this word.

Anyway, I now understand I have to put thoughts -> plans -> actions. I just need to perform ACTIONS before things get too late or before I get too fed up with myself. Thanks dear...

Tribute to my Papa

Papa....We miss you! It's been almost 8 weeks that you have left us. You had gone without saying any words. It's been heart broken for all of us. I hope you are doing OK (*wherever you are right now). Pa, I remember the last glance that we made. I asked you "pa, had you taken your lunch" and I cannot believe that is the last conversation that we will had. This is the destiny and everyone will go through this path. It's only a matter of time. Your time is up and we had to let you go.

I know pa you are always proud of your children and you had taught us well to be a good person. I remembered that you will always say about how good academically your child is and what they are doing etc. This is a testament that will stay with time and this is the results of your hard work. Thank you.

Even though, we might not had time to do things together, the memories of the things that we had do together will continue to stay in my mind. The time we had gone for a trip to Xiamen, the time when you called me out of no where you are in Penang and we had durian together in Balik Pulau, the time we had our small chat in your bedroom, the time we went shopping together to get your coat for ko's wedding....even though i regretted not spending more time with you.

Pa, you had thought us to live an honest life, you had taught us to work hard. Thank you. Even though you are someone not expressive, you had done your best as a father. We will not forget you.

Pa, I hope you find your peace and continue to bless us.

Pa, rest in peace.

* A tribute to my papa that passed away on 2-May-2012.

Chinese New Year

In less than one weeks time, Chinese around the world will usher the new coming of the lunar calender and celebrate the dragon year in an auspicious way. Its the time where families and friends get together to feast on all kinds of delicacies, rebuild long lost relationship and have a jolly good time with each others companies.

While the festivities mood is up in the air, its also a good time to reflect on the unfortunate ones. There are many people without food and a shelter to call home. I am sure the poor will enjoy a hot and savoury dish to go down with some nice cookies. It's good to do some charity in a time of abundance and don't forget the neglected ones like the orphanage and the old folks.

While enjoying oneself, don't forget to practice moderate. Spend moderately and have just enough meals for everyone and try not to waste food. Wishing everyone "年年有余" but in the context of wisdom, health and happiness. I hope 2012 will be a good year for everyone in everyway possible. Remember to pray for good health and prosperity.

p/s: I will try to catch up with friends and family and my dear :)

新年快乐，共喜发财，万事如意，身体建康。